The Courage of Loving

“There can be no deep disappointment where there is not deep love” -Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

There is no question about this above fact. It will take a great deal of courage to deal with the inevitable disappointments loving will bring. It’s putting ourselves out there for want of something beyond our own needs and desires. Love is very plainly selfless.

Most people these days, however, think love is the opposite–some mushy, gooey, comfortable ‘feeling’ that makes us feel good. Love, however–the real thing–is not about us. It’s about the other person in the relationship.

Courage is required to love because people will always let us down. Even if we love God we’ll be disappointed from time to time because he can’t possibly always answer us the way we want him to.

To truly love is to open ourselves to rejection which is said to be a human’s greatest fear. Loving someone is saying we accept them. This does not mean our affections will be reciprocated–indeed, many times our love will be rejected. Rejection and acceptance are opposite sides of the love coin.

Martin Luther King, like many who’ve given their lives for love and for God, knew only too well the pain of love and the cavernous abyss of disappointment in his thirteen years of profound political ministry for the freedom of his people and universal human rights.

He knew the rejection that Christ himself experienced; at the hands of bigoted, self-righteous, hypocritical people. He faced directly and indirectly the feared aggression of white supremacists almost every day of his 39 year life. Yet I don’t think he ever condemned them totally for it.

He knew, of course, it was fear that drove the hate. “But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love” -1 John 4:18 (TNIV). Mature, complete love is the perfect antidote to hate. It never fails (1 Corinthians 13:8).

We know where King’s love came from. As his life hung by a thread on the cross, Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” -Luke 23:34 (NIV).

And it’s no different for us. When we can reject rejection in the name of love and love the person rejecting us as Jesus did, in that moment we’ve become like God i.e. our behaviour–in that moment–is congruent with the character of God.

How to Cope When You Miss the One You Love

Giving up on someone you love so much could really leave you even more lonely and dissatisfied… fighting on and finding ways to get through the tough times, really makes you feel stronger, and brings the two of you even closer together…

It can also become easy to blame yourself if times are hard, and although self reflection can be a good thing, you cannot blame yourself if you tried your best, Distance puts a lot of pressure on the two people involved, some relationships make it, some sadly don’t, but often its factors out of your hands which makes it fade away, nothing you were to blame for.

Taking up a new hobby can really take your mind off of how lonely you feel! Sports, running, going to the gym, swimming etc, or relaxation are very good hobbies to take up as they will not only make you healthier, but will make you sexy and fit for your love !

Sometimes its easy for us to think that drowning your sorrows with drink, or smoking or drugs will make the pain go away, but really the short-term gratification and the long-term problems that come from this kind of solution is really not worth it… you are giving yourself another problem and not really solving the first one.

Try and do something more beneficial; read a classic novel, take up art lessons/workshops, learn a new language, etc. Or, volunteer at a hospital or school etc for a few hours a week!

Trying something more spiritual, like yoga. tai chi, relaxation etc could also help you cope spiritually with the loss of your companion!

Also, keep a journal about how you are feeling, right down all the things you feel and things on your mind, note down some love quotes, make romantic love notes and share them with your love when the opportunity arrives.

Sometimes the stress and strain can be so hard that it affects your sleeping and eating patterns, which in turn can really make your life even worse… Natural oils can relax your nerves and worries! Also herbal flower remedies help to calm your emotions. Try looking into your local health shop or got to a herbalist and see if they have anything to offer you to relieve your stress and emotions!

I’m Missing My Ex Girlfriend and I Want Her Back – Tips to Win Back Her Love Now

“I’m missing my ex girlfriend and I want her back,” is a phrase that, unfortunately, many men say every day. It’s difficult to focus on anything but the woman you love when you two aren’t together anymore. You may spend hours a day just mourning the loss of the relationship and that makes it difficult to focus on anything else including work, hobbies or friends. Simply wishing that she’ll come back to you won’t make it happen. You have to make an effort to get her back and you have to do it in a very precise way.

One of the best tips to win back her love now is to respect what she needs at the moment. It’s human nature to fight tooth and nail to keep someone we love but that can have dire consequences when it comes to a second chance with her. If you repeatedly ignore her requests for time apart, she’s going to reach the conclusion that you aren’t putting her needs first. This will make her feel justified in the break up and it will ensure she doesn’t ever consider getting back together. If she told you that she needs some time to herself, you need to give that to her. Stop trying to contact her and you absolutely have to stop pleading with her for another chance.

Stopping your life because you are in mourning is not going to help when you’re missing your ex girlfriend. Right after a break up both parties typically turn to mutual friends for updates on how their former lover is doing. Your ex is probably asking people around you how you are and if she hears that you are sitting at home, hiding away from the world, she’s going to see that as a sign of desperation. Get out and start having fun again. Live your life and show her that you’re fine without her. This will make her realize that there is indeed a chance she could lose you and it will make her double guess her decision to be apart from you.

The things you do after your breakup will either set the stage for a reunion with your girlfriend or will ensure she’s gone for good. Saying or doing the wrong thing can impact your future with the woman you love.

Getting Him to Love You – Male Psychology 101

Do you find getting him to love you difficult? Do you ever wonder what you’re doing wrong? Have you given up finding that perfect man? Well, don’t give up just yet. There are still a few things you might not know about love, men and relationships.

Some men have a hard time recognizing the difference between true love and animal lust. They see a pretty face, a sexy body and think they’re in love when, in truth, their sex drive has simply taken over. Once that sexual impulse has been satisfied, they move on. So how can you jump that sexual hurdle and get to the real heart of the matter?

Well, if love automatically followed lust, it would be a simple matter of slipping on that sexy dress, pouting your sultry lips and bagging both heart and libido in one svelte swing of your hips. But, alas, the heart is a tad more complicated than that.

So start by discovering his soft spots. Once you’ve sparked that initial attraction, be receptive as he opens up and gives you a glimpse of the man he is. Be supportive, interested and curious about what makes him get up in the morning, what makes him happy, and what grates his nerves. Be careful of excessive critical judgments or negative comments. While you may have a strong opinion about a particular portion of his life, don’t attack or condemn it. Though you may only be trying to show your intellect or strength, more likely than not, you’ll only succeed in closing him off. If he senses you’ll criticize him every time he admits a fault or weakness, he’ll walk away from the date feeling diminished and frustrated.

Slow down, slow down and slow down. Just because you may have set a particular timeline for meeting, dating and marrying the man of your dreams doesn’t mean he’s working within that same mindset. Give him time, give him space and give him the chance to realize on his own how great his life is when you’re around. Of course this can be difficult when you really want to be with him all the time and your every thought revolves around him, but the more you forcefully pull him to you, the more you’ll end up pushing him away. The whole “where is this relationship going?” is a difficult question to bring up. Not only is it putting pressure on him, but you may not be happy should he give you an honest answer.

So back off just a bit and let the love take care of itself. If you play it right, getting him to love you will be easy and he’ll be the one pushing for a more serious relationship.

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How to Make My Ex Desire Me – Proven Psychological Tricks to Have Your Ex Running Back to You

And so an ugly spat turned into a full-blown breakup. Your head is probably reeling right now, and you’re too wounded to even function at work and at home. This is but a normal reaction to a painful episode such as a breakup. In your head, you’re probably thinking of the question, “How to make my ex desire me?”

Well, for one, you need to get the right perspective about everything. And you can only do that if you take some time off and get away for a vacation somewhere. This means you severe all communications with your ex and avoid any temptation to call him up at all costs. If you haven’t used up your leaves yet, perhaps it’s about time you talk to your boss about it and tell him you’re going on a trip to Europe or something.

If you can’t afford to go on a holiday, you can simply take up some new hobby at home that will occupy your mind while imposing the “No Contact” rule. Remember, that your goal is to make your ex feel your absence by avoiding him for a few weeks. Don’t give in to any temptation or you risk being laughed at by your ex.

Another great answer to your how to make my ex desire me question is to start improving yourself from your attitude to the way you dress to the way you carry yourself. It would be cool if by the time your ex sees you, his jaw drops to the ground in amazement and appreciation.

How to Know If Your Girlfriend Loves You? 5 Signals It’s Real Love

It’s a waste of time being paranoid and totally suspicious of your girlfriend — however, you do have a point when you say just because she’s agreed to be your girlfriend doesn’t mean she already loves you. Harsh but real. It happens all the time. Now, before you go loco over the possibilities that she’s just playing around, take a deep breath and relax. There are ways on how to know if your girlfriend loves you. Here are five signals it’s real love in her eyes:

• She keeps in touch.She texts or gives you a call when she gets home, asks about how your day was and inquires about your plans for the weekends. She lets you know about her whereabouts as well, doesn’t miss to greet you on an important date and takes some effort to spend time with you — now that’s what we call contact communication, baby!
• She introduces you to her family and friends. It’s totally love when your girl wants you to meet her family and friends — she wants to include you in her inner circle and she values the opinion of the people around her. She lets everyone knows you’re together and will always introduce you to anyone as “My boyfriend.”
• She’s independent and trusts you.She gives you some space to go out with your buddies and she makes time to meet up with her friends as well. A relationship with trust will go along way and will definitely grow stronger — if she appears indifferent and doesn’t care if you go out with your friends or not, she may not be that into you at all.
• She gets jealous once in a while.Women are possessive by nature and they can get pretty jealous sometimes. Don’t fret. That’s a normal sign of love. A little jealousy every now and then is healthy in a relationship. If she’s too loose or doesn’t care if you actually went out with another girl, she may not love you that much.
• She tells you so.The three big words are pretty heavy words and a woman may find a hard time blurting it out if she’s really not that sure of her feelings. A girlfriend who tells you she loves you at once everyday and is not afraid to show it is definitely for keeps — she loves you and has no problem letting the whole world know about it.

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How to Tell If He Really Loves Me – Three Signals That Prove He Cares

Do you want to know how to tell if he really loves you? Does he tell you already all of the time, but you need to be able to know if he is being real? What if you could save all of the pain and heartache associated with falling for someone who doesn’t feel the same? It’s difficult sometimes to trust whether or not the guy that you love really loves you. This article can help you learn to read his signs and tell if he really loves you or not.

The first thing that you can do to find out if he really loves you is question your relationship. Be sure to be honest with your answers because that is the only way that you will come up with the correct assessment.

The first question that you will need to ask is if your guy thinks that the relationship is all about him. If a guy is really in love with you then he will try to put your needs first most of the time. Of course you shouldn’t expect him to sacrifice everything for you, but he should make you one of his top priorities. If he doesn’t, then he may be too into himself to make a good partner.

The second question you should ask of your relationship is whether or not your man is supportive of you. Is your man the kind of person that you can trust to be there for you when times get tough? Does he listen to you when you talk about your aspirations and dreams for the future? If the guy is only into you for fun then he isn’t going to care about your inspirations or motivations. A guy who truly is in love with you will listen to you when you need a shoulder to cry on and offer his support.

Last, ask yourself if your guy really digs you for who you are or not. There is a difference between knowing that a man finds you attractive and suspecting that the only reason that he is with you at all is because of the way that you look. If your guy wants to show you off to his friends, but doesn’t treat you with respect when no one is around, then he is not truly in love with you. Never settle for a guy who isn’t able to treat you with respect and consideration, no matter the situation.

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How to Tell a Guy You Love Him – 8 Ways You Can Follow

One truth about love is you can never make someone love you the way you want them to. However, you can’t help but wonder how to tell a guy you love him. You don’t want to send him away or sound too clingy and desperate by saying those three magic words. You can follow eight ways so that you can tell him how you feel.

1 – Right place, right time.

High yielding results come when you thoroughly think about a plan. Choose an appropriate time as well as appropriate place where you will tell him. Nothing will beat careful planning if you want to execute the proper ways on how to tell a guy you love him.

2 – Romance

Spark up the romantic side in you by inviting him for dinner with candlelight and sweet music. Choose your attire for the evening that you know he likes.

3 – More than words

It is important that before you tell him the magic words, you must learn how to do it. Show it to him by complimenting him and tell him how much you value your relationship with him.

4 – Consider his personality

Before giving him an all-out romance, consider if he is they type who is comfortable with it. You don’t want to scare him off, do you?

5 – Don’t be pushy

It is perfectly alright for you to tell him how you feel but don’t force him or demand that he say it back. It would totally defeat the purpose of the words “I love you.”

6 – Direct or indirect

If you prefer to say it flat-out and direct, it should be fine and better. However, if you really can’t bring yourself to blurt the words out, you may want to do it indirectly by pointing out the things you love about him.

7 – No alcohol

While alcohol gives you boost on your courage, saying the words while under its influence is like telling him something you really don’t mean.

8 – Expect the worst

As what have previously been mentioned, you can’t expect him to say the words back but the worst that could happen is when he doesn’t feel the way that you do.

How to tell a guy you love him will always depend in you. Always keep in mind that the outcome of the whole situation will always depend in him.

Telling a guy you love him can be easy if you set out your heart in doing it. However, it would be much better if you are equipped with information regarding the proper ways. You can’t just say it directly. You will need proper planning and think of means to do it.

Show Love Don’t Just Say Love

To tell someone you love them is not sufficient for them to believe that you do. One must believe in order for a fact to be a truth to them, your actions will prove out whether or not you truly do love them.

Many the time you will hear someone say, “I love you” then act as though they have no clue to what love is. When you love someone, the consideration of that someone, must be as important as the consideration you give to yourself.

When you want someone to believe that you love them, you must first love them! They will know that they are loved.

If you really want to know if you love someone, ask that someone, “Do I love you?” After all, isn’t it the truth that we want to know if they believe we love them?

No one can say how an act will be received by another, we can merely act from the heart where love is concerned, then, the act in itself will be enough to show love.

When we tell someone we love them, we must make certain that we are not replacing the act with the words! Often you will hear the words spoken only to see the contrary lived out in the life of the speaker.

Understanding what it means to love, will help us to understand why we use the words in place of the action.

With the variance of meaning being so great, it is not really any wonder we confuse the word.

We use the word love, far too loosely to expect someone to believe how deeply we feel the union in a marriage relationship, for instance.

We might use the same words to refer to a piece of cake! Is it any wonder we need to show love more than just handing out the words?

We will find our relationships of love growing in massive quantities, when we begin to consider just how we show our love to those we care so much about.

You will be the example of how to show what your heart is filled with, when you begin to, “show” love as opposed to, “say” love!

5 Steps to Approaching & Attracting Women During the Day

The first step to meeting women is going out and we all know we have to do this, to some of us however its considered a chore or something we HAVE to do to meet women. Here’s the secret … you don’t have to go out specifically to approach women, just do your normal everyday activities and incorporate chatting to women as part of it. So consider heading to your nearest shopping mall, the local café, the local supermarket and chatting to some women there.

Here are some quick tips to consider when approaching women during the day:

1. Keep the energy level low. That’s not to say walk around like a zombie just tone down your energy levels so leave the red bull at home and limit your coffee intake. Imagine your energy levels in a bar or club would be an 8/10 as its loud in bars and very distracting, well during the day I want you to half that energy level into 4/10.

2. Focus on making her day as opposed to getting a phone number or specific outcome from it. If you have an agenda she’ll sense it and red flags will go up. For the first few times going out just focus on having a real conversation, make her laugh and then walk away satisfied of this, if she offers her phone number then by all means take it.

3. Smile and be friendly. It’ll surprise you how many guys forget to do this as they’re too struck with panic and anxiety of approaching her in the first place that they let there nerves get the better over them and smiling then becomes a great effort. Your smile doesn’t have to be like Jim Carey’s character the Grinch just keep it light and you’ll be surprised of the different reactions you get in your interactions, actually you’ll find that it’s a good test to approach 5 women without smiling and another 5 women whilst smiling and then you’ll see what I’m talking about.

4. Take a friend. I sometimes do this as it’s more fun when you have your best mate there alongside you to watch and critique your approaches, are you putting your hands in your pocket? Leaning in while you talk? Have anxious body language? Then only an outsider who’s watching your approach can tell you this. Its even better when you approach two women together and you can talk to both the girls that way you both walk away with some success.

5. Have a reward for yourself. This simply means when you finish your days approaches reward yourself for the work you put in, take yourself out to dinner or buy yourself a beer so this motivates you to keep doing this on a weekly basis. As a rule of thumb when you’re just getting into this you should try to make 2 days a week dedicated to this.